About time

Yes its about time i blogged. Well cause its 3.30am and i am not sleepy yet in my cozy home. =)

I just read this "LOVE IS SUGAR SWEET".

It got me thinking, if that was the case, all the couples in love/married must be having diabetes type 2 by now. Kidding.

In all seriousness, to say love is sugar sweet puts a really thick layer of coating on the real image and "taste" of love. I know now why so many get it so wrong about this meaningful four letter word. They didnt get the real meaning. Thats why.

I want to dare anyone of us here, reading this blog of mine, does anyone of us REALLY know what love is? Does any of us know HOW to REALLY love someone? You gotta really come clean of yourself and seek deep down in the heart. If it was me, id honestly say no. I dont know. Its not because im not attached/hooked/married yet. That be the lamest excuse. Its also an excuse to say because one is in a relationship one knows how and what love really IS. It be same as, i dont know how to sleep because i dont have a bed or i know how to sleep because i have a bed. Not and excuse or a reason.

I think love has been really over-coated by lots of Korean/HK/Japanese/Western drama and also those forwarded emails that contain story after story of heart-wrenching teary heart tearing stories of love marriage and etc. Its really sad that this gets so easily into our minds. Its very easy coz we seem to need the REALISM in these stories. But in the process we are getting the WRONG kind of reality. NOT ALL you see and read are true. Thats why people say often "The sky is blue and the roses are pink when love is around".

Lets just wake up and smell ourselves for a while.

Lets take a walk back in time a bit to our mom's womb, where we came from. That was love right there. Not the process. But the existence, the product, the outcome. Us. We were because of love. But it wasnt all sweet and rosy pink. Ask your parents what love is. It was just getting us up and big and happy at the expense of theirs. There is some EXPENSE. That dont usually go well with most of us.

Just a few days ago, dad talked to me about really serious life issues. Life planning, my inheritance, his life plans, his past, his regrets. He poured onto me the life he had lived for the past 57 years. I nearly teared on the spot. He gave me something valuable time and time again. Not my pocket money, but love. I saw in his face the 57 years as he talked to me. I looked at him dead in the eye. I saw blood, sweat and tears. His greying hair, his older looking face, his back problem. He talked how even though we were in "cukup cukup makan" or Just Enough To Survive life, he did all the best he can to save up enough money for me and my bro for studies. He barely took a single cent each month. I only KNEW exactly what was going on in our family financially for the past 20 years at this very point. And then i looked at myself. I was his proud son no matter what, as long i did my best as long i lived an honorable value clean righteous life. I did. And the more i saw that this was all because of the real love my parents have been pouring out.

And his love paid off, praise God. God rewards those who have run the race, faithful to their commitment. Now I can say we are financially better off, at least. 5 years ago dad cudnt even afford to treat us to anything more than KFC or McD or PizzaHut. Now he has the liberty to ask me, when ever we go out together, "What do you want to eat?". That sentence to 90% of us is taken for granted. We get to choose. To my dad its a reward for all the hard work of 30 years, what he could not ask before, what he could not enjoy before. My dad loves tasting new food. But for many years he had to skip it. To me its even more meaningful. We didnt even want to get Streamyx up till late last year. We have never really had a life MOST of you all now are living so wonderfully. Its a good thing for you all. But lets not forget where it all came from. Love of sacrifice.

My dad told me "There is a big difference between NEEDS and WANTS". "And it can be very dangerous with the WANTS we want". "Occasionally its ok, but not on a regular basis". I kept thinking about my stuff, that actually wasnt paid with my own money. It was either indirectly from my parents or relatives. None actually was ever really mine. So should i thank my parents. Yes. Definitely. My bike, my PC, my shirts, my tickets, my whatever-that-has-made-me-happy most of the time was a direct result from my parents. If they havent paid for my college fees and bring me to KL, i wouldnt have met 50% of you all now. If my parents havent put me in school, i wouldnt have met the other 50% of you now.

It all has one origin, love. And it didnt come cheap and easy. Im not saying love is always hard. But im saying love has a more deeper significant than JUST being sweet to the taste.

There is a big difference of "Being in love" and "Staying in love". The latter is always the hardest. All married couples will have the same agreement. The former is always the easiest, in every way. Easy to crumble and easy to go far. So those who are already bf/gf? I pray u all made right decisions based on really solid reasons and after much consultation.

When i see the whole picture, from every angle that i've seen time and again, i see that love isnt sugar sweet after all. But it doesnt mean it is bitter and sour. I dont see love as the one where happiness shows. I see it in the PRODUCT, OUTCOME, EXISTENCE because of love. Which is basically what happens next after you poured out so much love. Not because your holding love in your hands. Love is the petrol. You hold it in your hands, it will evaporate. Many people are holding love like that.

Like my dad, he uses the love as his petrol, to drive his engine which is his heart to keep my family alive. Only NOW i see a small aspect of love.

The one thing Jesus is different is that He IS that Love. He is that petrol that drives. Which is why I find my strength and my power in Him always. Jesus is one Love that never evaporates. Coz its already said He is The Beginning and The End, Alpha and Omega, First and Last, Author and Finisher. Jesus showed love wasnt sugar sweet. But He showed that when you use love correctly, you will see the fruits of love, sweeter than anything.

I believe my parents does see it now. Both their sons are growing big, smart and doing well. We are beginning to have our own lives. When they are gone, we are to continue what they have started, pouring out love. Jesus also poured out His love, Himself for us.

I also dont mean to say love will mean more tears and grief. It does happen sometimes. But my parents wud have had that as well in the course of their marriage. Would that mean they stop pouring out love? No. They kept going. We all need love. But love doenst grow on trees. It has to come from somewhere. Many say its from our hearts. True. But where does our heart connect to to get that love?

Answer : Love <--- Heart <--- Spirit <--- Jesus <--- God

Many stop at the heart, but not see whats before the heart, the spirit. But the spirit has to originate from somewhere. God is the One Spirit who can give this to us.

Now that is why some dont understand love. Because they dont understand that God is Love and He gave Love (Jesus) to us. In love there will need to be Giving and Sharing, and at times no Taking. The real Love is when one knows Jesus Christ personally, and then shares it with others, not because of the sweet tingling feelings we get, but purely because, we all need love whether we deserve it or not. Thats what God has been trying to tell us. He wants to give us Love whether we are rich or poor, smart or dumb, sick or healthy, gay or lesbian, master or slave, ruler or servant, sinner or righteous. He wants us to know Him, know Love first hand on a real scale. Many times we tell ourselves "I need love more than others" rather than saying "There are others who need as much if not more love than i do". Love not in hugs and kisses or holding hands or chocos n flowers. But love as in giving the entire heart, soul, mind and strength to see a change in someones life, to make another life more meaningful, thats more worth to live, to care for the uncared and love the unloved.

This I will say is Love.

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13

God Bless