Friends

Heh..........i was just browsing tru my Friendsters friends list..........and i have 787 friends............well "friends".

And i started to realise.........not all of my "friends" on my friends list are friends at all. Most of the 787 ppl are just acquaintances.

Recalling Cellgroup last nite where Jason shared a lil abt "what are friends?", its a true fact that a very serious and intimate friendship is a very hard thing to come by these days in a world so full of ppl confined to themselves aiming for personal pride and glory.

Today it seems that as long as u know someone, you consider that someone a friend. That u have at least talked to them or they have at least helped u with some small thing. Thats it. BAM! Already considered a friend.

Another example, lets say u are a businessman and u got to help someone with dealing with the insurance claims and policies.......and you go "Oh yes i got a friend in ABC Insurance Company, i can give u his contact and u can discuss. " Thats it. But then the fact is the most part its just an acquaintance merely in the business world.

And i see this same issue in my very own life sometimes.

A perfect example :

I have a so called "frend" who i got to know on the net some months now. Never had face to face meetings. Somemore we're far apart. And this particular person i tried to be friends with initially........but i got a rather cool reception. So well, since it aint much to do with me, then its that persons loss that didnt accept my frendship.

And one day this person came to ask me for help. Which i gladly did. I helped. After that. Thats it. Done. Didnt even get to chat abt other stuff. The whole atmosphere was really a very one way going traffic. No feedback.

And then i get more requests for help from this person. Regarding some stuff. Involving well the worldly things : money success etc.

And then this person goes, "You're my friend rite? CAn help me or not? CAn la rite? plzzz"

Thats it.

Now u can see whats going on.

I dont know this person any deeper than the brief frendship with some UK students whom my English teacher introduced back in secondary. And that was only by email. That was a really great time though we were worlds apart but i got to know their background, culture, lifestyle, likes dislikes, school, love, religion etc. That was real friendship. Sadly contact was lost in just a few months. I miss them alot till now.

But this person..........who considers me a frend..........when i havent even known her full name even after some months........wants me to help. Well out of generosity i do help. BUt i never even felt like a frend. I felt rather used and just a tool to get others personal glory. And that stinks. honestly.

So what is a frend then? We all come from so many different backgrounds, lives, religions, cultures and systems esp in Malaysia.

How do u consider a friend a FRIEND?

The sitcom hit "Friends" was a nice example to be honest. Even through the wackiest and most morbid situations they still remained friends till the very last season. But thats a tv show. NOt reality. The example is there. However living by that example is a different thing.

So then now as i look at the people around me in my life i started eliminating one by one who is not my frend and who are my friends. Im not despising or casting out anyone, NO. Im just evaluating who are the people who have stood beside me. Who know me and i know them. Who have saved me and i saved them. Who i eat sleep and play with. Who i know their troubles inside out and they know mine. Who know wat i want wat i dream wat i pray for every day. And who i know i can RELATE with and have a relationship.

Now thats a friend.

So how many on my Friendster's list are my friends. Probably just 10% out of 787. At most 20% maybe........but its not even 50%. The rest? Well, for the sake of social life i jsut let them be there.

My msn list : actively over 100 ppl...................yet................how many do chat with me? maybe not even 50. Then there are the dormant contacts which never seem to come online. 1000. Friends? no.

IN all honesty friends are hard to come by now days. Prejudice. Accusations. Pride. Greed. Lust.

The things missing that are missing now are Love Hope and Faith.

This world has been guided into a stream of murky unsettling silt. It cant even make a clear judgement of what is right and wrong. Always misguided.

So as a thought, just think over again who really are your friends and who are just mere acquaintances.

You can help anyone yet not be a friend. You can be a friend but not without helping.

Thats where love comes in.

You can love yourself without loving others. But u can never love others without loving yourself first. And before u can learn to love yourself u have to learn to love God first.

In other words :

A friendship has to be based on love. And love is based on God.

God is Love and God is a Friend

Without God u dont have Love

Without Love u have no Friendship

You need God to learn to love and learn to be a friend.